How quickly things can change – update

I managed to at least get some sun and reading in. And because… everybody likes pictures AmIRight?



My how quickly things can change

So I’ve been having a great time in Vegas this week. Learned a ton of awesome stuff professionally speaking, and outside of two people (I work with both) nobody knew I was trans. Everybody was seeing me, treating me, and interacting with me the same as if I were a cis chick. And it was wonderful. I had one guy I talked to for a bit ask me about being a woman in IT. I had another guy who was hitting on me, although later said “I’m not hitting on you… I’m married”, and his coworker suggest we get drinks. I hung out with other people through the week who once again saw me as any other chick.

And, holy hell is it fun being one of the only chicks at a tech conference. Especially being 6’2 without heels, and everyday (except one… my feet hurt like hell after walking 7-8 miles/day in heels) was towering over most people. And I loved it. It’s been the first time in a long time I could actually forget I was trans. I felt like a chick. Granted there were a ton of other girls I was envious of and looked at thinking they were more female than I could ever be essentially. But hey, in 32 days that might start to go away.

However, looks like good things must come to an end (or a hiatus at minimum). I am waiting for my one gf to get here in about 3 hours or so. I figured I would go read some nerd books (network overlays specifically… i.e. OTV, Fabricpath, VXLAN, etc. Why that’s relevant? No idea since people reading this blog likely won’t be looking for that stuff haha) at the pool and get some sun. So, I threw on the same swimsuit I was comfortable wearing in Hilton head 2 months ago, put on a light dress for the walk down, and stop to take a pic of me with my nerd book real quick. And that’s when it hit me: I don’t have tits.

Even though this push up top helps, it doesn’t help enough with the aforementioned 6’2 thing. It looks like I barely have an A cup. So instead of going and enjoying life, I am paralyzed by this yet again. And the worst part is SRS won’t fix it and I don’t have the $5k or so to get BA (breast aug) at the same time. So now I’ve got 3 hours to kill and I don’t know what to do outside of gamble, drink, or hang out in my room by myself in Vegas if I rule out the pool thing.

You know what, perhaps Cisco Live’s slogan this year is appropriate: Your Time Is Now. My time is now. So I’m off. To go bury my head in a book while I listen to music to distract myself from this anxiety issue. But at least I’ll be doing what I want to be doing for a bit.